In 1986 it was said that England could not bat, could not bowl and could not field. Well, if Ian Botham and David Gower were tarred with that brush, how do you go about describing this lot?
Firstly, we have to ask questions of the management (and we will talk about Australia later). Can you seriously imagine Mike Gatting or Micky Stewart going up to Botham and Graeme Dilly on the 14th November 1986 in Brisbane and leaving them out? “Yes chaps, I know you are the best bowlers, but we think it would be better to throw away the first game and pick you in the second when we are already on the way to a 5-0 thrshing”.
Yet on the 8th December this year, that is exactly what Joe Root and Chris Silverwood did. Back in 2012, when Andrew Strauss’ England were top of the tree, they left out Stuart Broad and James Anderson for a test match against West Indies. It caused quite a reaction at the time. The fact is, it was a questionable decision for a top class team with an unassailable lead in the series. It is the sort of thing you can consider when you are winning. When you have lost virtually all of your games in the year, you have to pick your best players.
When it comes to selection, England are a shambles now. We are willing to cut some slack – Covid and injuries have been a nightmare combo. The loss of Jofra Archer was a cruel blow. But we also have to ask why all of England’s batters have regressed? I would list them but it would require a lot of space. Simply England pick test match batters who fail to kick on. Why, and when will someone own up? Graham Thorpe was my hero, but as a batting coach he is not having the desired impact on these players.
But even accepting all of that, Root and Silverwood are in a muddle, and they have created a situation where they have nobody else involved in team selection. The teams they are picking up are almost as mixed up as the crazy teams that Ray Illingworth chose in the mid 90s.
My view is that they are just making it too complicated. It seems like they keep picking the team that they should have picked in the team before. They are messing about with the basics. For example, you pick a spinner unless a compelling reason exists not to. Even on a dark day in Leeds (not that we can have test matches in Leeds these days) you would think twice about not picking a spinner (see England v South Africa in 2012). Pick the same spinner regularly and the captain and bowler will learn to work together and the bowler can get some match practice. But most of all…..PICK YOUR BEST PLAYERS.
We can expand the theme of not doing the basics to Rory Burns. I have always felt that Burns could not succeed down under. He probably will get the rest of the series now however badly he plays, but he does not deserve it. His technique is miles away from the coaching manual but we do not care about that. He is also miles away from common sense. I am sorry, but he is the only batter I have ever seen in international cricket who does not look at the bowler. You can stand where you want, but watching the bowler is pretty key. Staying still would help. In Brisbane he was so busy moving he missed a ball that Alistair Cook would be clipping through the leg side. We could maybe cope with that, but then Burns must be England’s least good catcher – and it is a low bar. We are at the point where we must consider just picking players who can catch, irrespective of runs and wickets.
Talking about basics, what about the No Balls. Ben Stokes and Ollie Robinson have done it. What are all these hundreds of coaches doing? Simple – in the nets, practice properly. Don’t permit no balls in practice and you know what, they will not happen in real games. Botham hardly ever bowled No Balls. Everyone wanted to blame the Umpire for not calling them. Well, that is pathetic as well – with modern technology every no ball must be called. But only 1 person makes front foot no balls happen. The bowler. Sack the bowling coach if he cannot ensure the basics of bowling legal deliveries.
So, you may gather I am not pleased. The worst thing about this Ashes tour is that it is so predicable. The result of the series is going to almost certainly be decided within 12 days of cricket. Somehow it has become normal for England to loose 5-0 in Australia. In 2006/7 it started, but that Australia team was brilliant. In 2013/4 it started to become the norm even against a pretty poor Australia. Now it is just inevitable.
People look back at the 1990s and laugh. But out of each Ashes tour someone came out with credability, and normally England won a game somewhere. In 1990/1, Gower and Mike Atherton made runs. In 1994/5, Darren Gough made himself known and Thorpe made runs, including a fine hundred in the last game. In 1998/9 England’s middle order was respectable, and Gough made the headlines again. In 2002/3 it was all about Michael Vaughan – and the fact that he conquered the Aussie bowlers must have been a factor at home in 2005.
It is time for England to show some fight. Pick the best players. Consistently. Score some hundreds – even when you loose. But most of all – SHOW SOME FIGHT.
A brief word about the Australia Management. Despite all the ‘crossing the line’ nonsense we hear from David Warner and co, despite the involvement of a Prime Minister, despite everything, we have Steve Smith, the Sandpaper Captain, back leading the team. Seriously, you telling me that this is acceptable? I am ok having him in the team. But Smith should not be Captain. Not that England can claim any moral high ground at all given everything. But no, Smith as Captain is a disgrace.
Cricketed 